Tuesday, 8 April 2025

When Commando Gets Creepy: Artifacts

 Back in December I made a post about an issue of Commando that managed to be the comic equivalent of a Christmas Horror movie. (Read it here: Krampusnacht).

 Well, I had a dig through my stack of Commandos and found enough issues with a supernatural element to make either one long-ass post or several posts that are a more reasonable length. I'll do the latter and try to work with a rough theme.

  I'm not going to do Sci-Fi stories for the time being, so nothing about aliens, time-travellers or Nazi Wunderwaffe.  I'm strictly covering the eerie, Weird War Tales sort of story.

  (Hey D C Thomson, if you're reading this then I have an idea for you: you already published a Commandos Vs Zombies collection so why not do a Commando Chills volume? )

 What we'll look at first is something Commando used several times over the years. 

Artifacts

 To clarify, what I mean here is: an object from the past with some supernatural properties. When it falls into the hands of an ordinary squaddie strange things happen.  

Commando 1320  The Magic Blade (1979)

Commando 1320

  Possibly inspired by the Fairy Flag of Clan Mcleod, this is about a family heirloom passed from generation to generation and war to war. As we shall see, other artifacts are a bit more random. 

The story: 15th Century Scotland Warriors from Clan Broderick arrive a little too late to save the local witch from the raiders from a rival clan. She appreciates the effort and before dying promises that the Brodericks will receive a talisman that will give them victory - but can only be used three times. 

 Shortly afterward a meteorite strikes down the enemy chieftain in the middle of a battle. The Brodericks promptly turn the lucky star-rock into a dagger.   Over the centuries this comes in handy when things get truly, truly desperate before we finally arrive at WW2.
 The new chieftain leads his  clan into battle once again, this time as a special commando unit.  And during the Normandy campaign, the dagger is used for the third and final time as the men of Clan Broderick fight off a panzer attack. 

A fun story, maybe a little old-fashioned but that's part of the charm of Commando comics anyway.  I did like the time spent developing the history of the clan and their talisman. 

 

Commando 3807 - Tin Hat Terror (2005)

Commando 3807

 A trope Commando used a lot over the years is the idea of a mild-mannered man becoming a hero. 
Sometimes he just finds the courage within himself when it's needed. Sometimes...well...he has a bit of help.  
 Like the last issue, this one starts way back in the past. Unlike the "Magic Blade" the artefact takes effect on the person wearing it. 

  The story:  9th Century England. A Viking warrior goes into a berserker state when his clan is betrayed and ambushed, laying waste to everything in his path until he finally takes a death-wound. 
 As he dies, his steel helmet is struck by lightning.  
 Centuries later the Viking's cairn is opened up by archaeologists  who are surprised to find the berserker's helmet in pristine condition. 
  (Personally that would be a giant red flag to me and I'd rebury the bloody thing immediately. Under concrete and holy water, for preference.)     

 Thanks to an unfortunate combination of events, during WW2 the helmet is  melted down to make a "tin hat".  This is issued to timid Pay Corps clerk  Perry Gosling - who promptly stops being timid and starts being a rage monster every time he puts it on. 
  
   This does come in handy when the Germans launch their invasion of France and poor Percy gets caught behind enemy lines. Not so much fun for the German troops suddenly faced with a kill-crazy nutter.

  Another fun story and to be honest the artists' depiction of Psycho-Percy's KillFace makes it even better.  
  Yes, the fight on the cover does happen. 


Commando 4210 - Dead Man's Boots (2009)

Commando 4210
Another one where the object(s) in question come with the previous wearer along for the ride.  Plus we're in familiar Commando territory - the terrible soldier makes good.  

The Story: D-Day 1944.    Aboard one of the troopships one particular soldier has the shiniest boots you could imagine. Why? He starts telling his tale and it goes back to the Fall of France. 

  Trev Walker needed a new pair of boots and quickly, as the Germans were on their way and he couldn't get far in his socks/ Luckily he found a shiny, shiny new pair in an abandoned museum. 
 It gets a bit weird when the previous owner pops up in the shiny leather to say "Go on, borrow these but take good care of them."  
 It gets weirder when the boots make Trev significantly better at marching and running.  Also, there's a Nazi senior officer with an unhealthy interest in Trev's new boots.
  Seems there's a history there and it goes back to WW1.  

I would say this is a bit more light-hearted than usual but it is still a war comic with all that entails.  Worth a read. 

To sum up: Three variations on a basic theme that still manage to work within the Commando famework.  It helps that the usual under-rated Commando artwork is on display. And I think I can safely say that all three are very British in tone. If you are into this sort of thing, keep an eye out for a copy.  

I have more Commando Chilling Combat tales to show you. Pop back in a bit and bring a torch. 

That's All Folks. 

Monday, 10 March 2025

The Metal Project: The Triumph Of Metal

 Time is a funny thing. One day you start thinking about that person you haven't seen in a little while and then you realise that the last time you chatted was 5 year ago. Then you realise that you haven't done a Metal project post in over a year.

 Oops. 

So, my apologies for the delay but I thought I'd better put up some songs. As always the criteria are as follows:

1. It has to be a metal band. (Or at least metal adjacent, whatever that means)

2. The song has to have "Metal" in the title. Hence the name "The Metal Project" 

3. No covers. 

4. No live songs (unless that's all I can find) 

5. No instrumentals (Unless I like them) 

6. No NSBM (Because fuck those nazi bellends in the ears)

7. No AI songs. (Because AI scares me.)

Now we're all caught up, let's get some music on.  No theme this time; I just grabbed some new-ish stuff. I hope you like it.  


Iron Curtain - Heavy Metal Rush (Spain 2025)


 Credit to: NWOTHMFullAlbums


Air Raid Sirens - Heavy Metal Party (India 2025)

 
Credit to: Air raid sirens

Hartlight - The Triumph of Metal (Switzerland/France 2025)


 Credit to: Hartlight

 Visagem - Speed Metal Infernal (Brazil 2024)


 Credit to: LINK

Sign Of The Jackal -Pedal to The Metal (Italy 2024)



 Brothers Of Metal - Heavy Metal Viking (Sweden 2024)


 Credit to: AFM Records

So as we can see, in the year 2025 people are still making metal songs about how awesome metal is. 
There's still hope for humanity.

That's all folks. 

Sunday, 9 March 2025

Dear Youtube...

 Hello there Youtube, you got a minute for a little chat? 

We've been together for quite a while now and while for the most part it's been great - I honestly don't know what I'd do without you giving me a regular supply of music, dogs  and memes - there are a few things I wanted to bring up. 

 Starting with:

1. Adverts.

We both knew this one was coming, didn't we? Look, I am OK with you needing to make a profit but  50 minutes of unskippable ads before every video?  30 minutes of unskippable adverts every 15 minutes?  Calm it down will you? 

 Also, I am a 55 year old man. Why am I getting adverts for beauty products and tampons? 
Are you trying to tell me something? 

2. Youtube Premium 

 This is never going to happen. Accept it and move on. 

3. The Algorithm. 

 Please stop recommending me things I have already watched. Jeez, that gets frustrating after a while.  

4. AI Music Videos

...Are creepy and disturbing.  Make them stop. 

5. Deleted videos

Lastly, I'd like to make a suggestion.  Can you please add a feature where I can remove deleted/private videos from a playlist without having to go through each and every one? Cheers. 

Now that wasn't so bad, was it?  

Let's sit down with a cuppa and some hobnobs, and find a video of people failing at parkour.
Sound like a plan? 

That's all folks. 


Sunday, 26 January 2025

Heavy Metal Cover Girls: Gorgons and Lamias

 Hello and welcome to another edition of "Heavy Metal Cover Girls"; an occasional series where I put up album covers from metal & rock acts sharing a loose theme as well as the female form. 

 What I have said many times across this series is that there are certain themes that pop up time and again. Warrior women are always popular, as are angels, demons and close-ups of buttocks. (see previous posts for more details) All of which makes sense for Metal bands. 

 What also makes sense is for bands to have a fascination with the tragic figure of Medusa. A beautiful woman cursed by cruel gods to become a monster.  How hideous the monster is, depends entirely on the artist and band. Interestingly, the gorgons on these covers are never presented as victims. 

 I also had a few covers where the woman/snake combination is built differently: Lamias are part woman, part snake and, here anyway, always gorgeous. "What the hell" I thought "Let's throw them in as well."

 Let's go in and meet these ladies. 
Remember not to look them in the eye. 

HEARTSCORE - MEDUSA'S HEAD (GERMANY 2021)

METAL COVERF GIRL MEDUSA

  Medusa looking contemplative here.  I am relieved to see that Medusa's head is still attached to the rest of Medusa here.  

Friday, 17 January 2025

Woman Wrestling Comics: Sensacional De Luchas 46

  Hello and welcome back to the blog. Sorry I haven't been updating recently but life happens and it gets in the way of blogging.

 If you are here for the first time then looking at my statistics, you are probably here because you searched for "Women Wrestling" or "Women Wrestling Comics" so I think you're going to like  today's post. 

 In the past I've covered comics from the USA, Japan and the UK (check HERE) but this is the first time I've done a comic from Mexico.  

 It makes sense that Lucha Libre and comics have a long history together. People more knowledgeable than me have pointed out that Luchadores are treated as larger than life character, practically cartoon superheroes.  And in fact a pocket-sized digest called "Sensacional De Luchas" ran from 1986 to 1954 starring real wrestlers in comic thrills & adventure. (ComicVine page can be found here: sensacional-de-luchas

 Given that during this period women's wrestling seems to have been a bigger deal in Mexico than the USA, it makes sense that some issues feature lady wrestlers. (Although I don't know if any real female stars got their own comic) 

 So, I reckon it's time to start posting pictures.  

Sensacional De Luchas 46
 Sadly, we never actually get to see a Nun performing dropkicks. 

My Spanish is non-existent to the point there is at least one retired Spanish Teacher who has nightmares about
 trying to  get me to understand regular verbs So that means I had work out what the story is by panels alone. 

As near as I can work out, it goes like this: 

Sensacional de Luchas 46
 Our beautiful heroine is a lady wrestler with a career in the slumps.
She keeps getting knocked about by bigger, scarier women.

Lucah Libre comic

I haven't been able to work out what Blondie is called so let's just call her "Blondie"
Luchadoras comic
I refuse to believe that Blondie is really called Bertha.
She's just not Bertha material. 

Anyway poor Blondie is getting a lot of flak from her boyfriend, management and the 
other girls but then has an encounter with a nun that gives her a new view on life.
It also helps her with the whole "Not getting battered" thing too.
Women wrestling headscissors


Brunette seems a bit miffed here. Maybe she though she was in for an early night.

Montage time!
Lucha comic
Art looks like something from the 1950s, doesn't it? 

Blondie also starts spending quality time with the local nuns. 
Since nobody is wrestling in those pages I didn't scan them.   

Not sure what happens next but our heroine's confidence takes a bit of a knock again. 
Having an opponent try to rip your tongue out will do that to you.

 

So after a bit of a pep-talk from her boyfriend Blondie pulls that wrestling classic and secretly returns as a masked mystery woman.
 You'd think the glorious mane of blonde hair would give the game away but 1. this is Mexico and Lucha Libre has it's own rules and 2. this is the 80s when "smart" fans weren't on a dozen message boards telling everybody what Wrestler A had for breakfast. 

Anyway, Blondie has decided to stop being so nice.


Including the Mike Tyson special.


Having won, she immediately reveals "It's me, Mexico. It was me all along"
which may have rendered the whole thing pointless.


And we get a happy ending where the queen of the local nuns congratulates  Blondie on almost maiming another woman.

Ok then.

The final page is a pinup of some dashing chaps.
Solar 1, Super Astro and Ultraman


On the whole this was an interesting read and if I ever get my paws on more issues I may can them. 

That's all folks!




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