Tuesday, 8 April 2025

When Commando Gets Creepy: Artifacts

 Back in December I made a post about an issue of Commando that managed to be the comic equivalent of a Christmas Horror movie. (Read it here: Krampusnacht).

 Well, I had a dig through my stack of Commandos and found enough issues with a supernatural element to make either one long-ass post or several posts that are a more reasonable length. I'll do the latter and try to work with a rough theme.

  I'm not going to do Sci-Fi stories for the time being, so nothing about aliens, time-travellers or Nazi Wunderwaffe.  I'm strictly covering the eerie, Weird War Tales sort of story.

  (Hey D C Thomson, if you're reading this then I have an idea for you: you already published a Commandos Vs Zombies collection so why not do a Commando Chills volume? )

 What we'll look at first is something Commando used several times over the years. 

Artifacts

 To clarify, what I mean here is: an object from the past with some supernatural properties. When it falls into the hands of an ordinary squaddie strange things happen.  

Commando 1320  The Magic Blade (1979)

Commando 1320

  Possibly inspired by the Fairy Flag of Clan Mcleod, this is about a family heirloom passed from generation to generation and war to war. As we shall see, other artifacts are a bit more random. 

The story: 15th Century Scotland Warriors from Clan Broderick arrive a little too late to save the local witch from the raiders from a rival clan. She appreciates the effort and before dying promises that the Brodericks will receive a talisman that will give them victory - but can only be used three times. 

 Shortly afterward a meteorite strikes down the enemy chieftain in the middle of a battle. The Brodericks promptly turn the lucky star-rock into a dagger.   Over the centuries this comes in handy when things get truly, truly desperate before we finally arrive at WW2.
 The new chieftain leads his  clan into battle once again, this time as a special commando unit.  And during the Normandy campaign, the dagger is used for the third and final time as the men of Clan Broderick fight off a panzer attack. 

A fun story, maybe a little old-fashioned but that's part of the charm of Commando comics anyway.  I did like the time spent developing the history of the clan and their talisman. 

 

Commando 3807 - Tin Hat Terror (2005)

Commando 3807

 A trope Commando used a lot over the years is the idea of a mild-mannered man becoming a hero. 
Sometimes he just finds the courage within himself when it's needed. Sometimes...well...he has a bit of help.  
 Like the last issue, this one starts way back in the past. Unlike the "Magic Blade" the artefact takes effect on the person wearing it. 

  The story:  9th Century England. A Viking warrior goes into a berserker state when his clan is betrayed and ambushed, laying waste to everything in his path until he finally takes a death-wound. 
 As he dies, his steel helmet is struck by lightning.  
 Centuries later the Viking's cairn is opened up by archaeologists  who are surprised to find the berserker's helmet in pristine condition. 
  (Personally that would be a giant red flag to me and I'd rebury the bloody thing immediately. Under concrete and holy water, for preference.)     

 Thanks to an unfortunate combination of events, during WW2 the helmet is  melted down to make a "tin hat".  This is issued to timid Pay Corps clerk  Perry Gosling - who promptly stops being timid and starts being a rage monster every time he puts it on. 
  
   This does come in handy when the Germans launch their invasion of France and poor Percy gets caught behind enemy lines. Not so much fun for the German troops suddenly faced with a kill-crazy nutter.

  Another fun story and to be honest the artists' depiction of Psycho-Percy's KillFace makes it even better.  
  Yes, the fight on the cover does happen. 


Commando 4210 - Dead Man's Boots (2009)

Commando 4210
Another one where the object(s) in question come with the previous wearer along for the ride.  Plus we're in familiar Commando territory - the terrible soldier makes good.  

The Story: D-Day 1944.    Aboard one of the troopships one particular soldier has the shiniest boots you could imagine. Why? He starts telling his tale and it goes back to the Fall of France. 

  Trev Walker needed a new pair of boots and quickly, as the Germans were on their way and he couldn't get far in his socks/ Luckily he found a shiny, shiny new pair in an abandoned museum. 
 It gets a bit weird when the previous owner pops up in the shiny leather to say "Go on, borrow these but take good care of them."  
 It gets weirder when the boots make Trev significantly better at marching and running.  Also, there's a Nazi senior officer with an unhealthy interest in Trev's new boots.
  Seems there's a history there and it goes back to WW1.  

I would say this is a bit more light-hearted than usual but it is still a war comic with all that entails.  Worth a read. 

To sum up: Three variations on a basic theme that still manage to work within the Commando famework.  It helps that the usual under-rated Commando artwork is on display. And I think I can safely say that all three are very British in tone. If you are into this sort of thing, keep an eye out for a copy.  

I have more Commando Chilling Combat tales to show you. Pop back in a bit and bring a torch. 

That's All Folks. 

Monday, 10 March 2025

The Metal Project: The Triumph Of Metal

 Time is a funny thing. One day you start thinking about that person you haven't seen in a little while and then you realise that the last time you chatted was 5 year ago. Then you realise that you haven't done a Metal project post in over a year.

 Oops. 

So, my apologies for the delay but I thought I'd better put up some songs. As always the criteria are as follows:

1. It has to be a metal band. (Or at least metal adjacent, whatever that means)

2. The song has to have "Metal" in the title. Hence the name "The Metal Project" 

3. No covers. 

4. No live songs (unless that's all I can find) 

5. No instrumentals (Unless I like them) 

6. No NSBM (Because fuck those nazi bellends in the ears)

7. No AI songs. (Because AI scares me.)

Now we're all caught up, let's get some music on.  No theme this time; I just grabbed some new-ish stuff. I hope you like it.  


Iron Curtain - Heavy Metal Rush (Spain 2025)


 Credit to: NWOTHMFullAlbums


Air Raid Sirens - Heavy Metal Party (India 2025)

 
Credit to: Air raid sirens

Hartlight - The Triumph of Metal (Switzerland/France 2025)


 Credit to: Hartlight

 Visagem - Speed Metal Infernal (Brazil 2024)


 Credit to: LINK

Sign Of The Jackal -Pedal to The Metal (Italy 2024)



 Brothers Of Metal - Heavy Metal Viking (Sweden 2024)


 Credit to: AFM Records

So as we can see, in the year 2025 people are still making metal songs about how awesome metal is. 
There's still hope for humanity.

That's all folks. 

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Labels

#HeavyMetal (249) #TheMetalProject (228) Advice (2) Airboy (2) aircraft (27) album covers (116) Alestorm (2) Andrew j Offutt (1) angels (1) anime (22) AOR (10) art and stuff (28) Attractive women. (98) B-reaction (1) Barbarion (1) Beasty Girls (1) Big D is going to lose his temper in a minute. (4) Big D talks bollocks (37) Big D talks bollocks. (38) Big D talks bollocks. aircraft (2) Black Metal (3) blatant fanservice (155) blatant plug (5) BOLOS (1) Books (51) Boston Wrestling 1964 (1) British comics (23) bunny (1) Buses (3) Captain America (1) carrier bags (1) cars (2) cartoons (12) Catgirl Nuku Nuku (1) Catwoman (1) Change 123 (1) Charleston wrestling 1964 (1) Cheapo DVD Review (75) Children (1) Chingford (1) Christmas (5) Clouds (1) comics (33) Commando (2) Dale rambles about stuff. (1) David Gibbins (1) Dejah Thoris (1) dinosaurs (13) dogs (2) doing stuff badly. (1) Dragonforce (1) dreams (1) DUKW (1) DVD artists are lying bastards (23) El Santo (1) Elvis impersonators (1) Eric Roberts will work for food (3) European wrestling 1964 (1) eurovision (20) eurovision Metal Contest (6) fantasy (10) Fathers Day (1) female cyborgs (1) Film (159) films (50) First Squad (1) FROGS (1) gardening (1) German Comics (3) Getting started. (1) Ghosts (1) gig (3) Goolie abuse (4) gorgons (2) Grappling Gertie (4) Green Lantern (1) Guest post (2) Hard Gay (1) Harley Quinn (1) Hawkgirl (1) Heavy Metal Artwork Blog (124) Heavy Metal Blog (97) Heavy Metal Cover Girls (98) History (3) Horror (32) Islamic Metal (1) Judge Anderson (2) Kobra And The Lotus. (1) Krampus (1) Lawnmower Deth (2) Lesbian Bed Death (2) List (17) Lords Of The Trident (3) lucha libre (1) Manga (11) marrow fighting (1) Martial Arts (14) Maryland wrestling 1964 (1) massive shoulderpads (1) Matthew Reilly (2) men's issues (6) Merlin (1) metal (331) Metal Christmas (1) Metal songs about metal (229) mimi hagiwara (1) MinamICon (1) Mind Wars (1) models (19) monkeys (2) Monsters Of Rock (2) MRAs (1) museums (9) music (33) music from the weird aprt of Youtube (3) music from the weird part of Youtube (4) music that gets under my skin. (2) Neil Peart RIP. (1) Nice cover (2) Nicholas Eames. (1) Night Fighters (1) Nightside (1) Noot noot (1) NWOBHM (3) Oatcakes (1) Olympics (1) photos (3) pinup (1) ponies (6) Portsmouth (13) Power Girl (2) power metal (1) puroresu (2) Rain (1) rant (20) Redheads (7) Roswell Conspiracies (2) rules (2) Sci-Fi (46) sexy witches (7) shame about the book. (2) Sharktopus (1) ships (1) Sigismund (1) silliness (1) Southampton (1) Southsea (15) Southsea Food Festival 2022 (1) spiders (1) Spitfires (4) Sport is bollocks (1) Starblazer (1) Stockings (1) Storm Eunice 2022 (1) Story (9) Strike Witches (1) Strip magazine (1) STUFF (1) Stuff with armoured cars (1) Stuff with axemurdering lumberjacks (1) Stuff with B36 Bombers (1) Stuff with big flying lizards (12) Stuff with Black Metal Catgirls (1) Stuff with blokes in kilts. (2) stuff with cute banshees. (2) Stuff with enormous birds (1) Stuff With Flying Fruit (1) Stuff with Giant Crabs. (3) Stuff with giant Germans singing about sausage. Music from the weird part of Youtube. (1) Stuff with Girls In Eyepatches (3) Stuff with Gladiators (8) stuff with kickboxing teachers. (1) Stuff with killer cricketers (1) Stuff with Killer Rabbits (1) stuff with killer snails (1) Stuff With Killer Unicorns (1) stuff with Maoris (1) Stuff with mermaids (1) Stuff with Nazi Vampires (3) Stuff with Ninjas (3) Stuff with Psycho Coppers (1) Stuff with Robot Maids (1) Stuff with Roller Derby (1) stuff with rollerskating Muses (1) Stuff with soulsucking mummies. (2) Stuff with strippers (3) Stuff with talking statues (2) Stuff with Vikings (3) Stuff with violent clowns (1) Stuff With Walking Fish (2) Stuff with weird Kiwis (1) Stuff with werewolves (5) Stuff with Wolves (1) stuffed animals (1) Stupid films about sharks (10) Synthwave (4) tanks (5) Tarkan (1) Taya Valkyrie (1) Terrible Metal Album Covers (28) Terrible songs (1) Terry Pratchett. (1) The Band (1) The Hangover pt 2 (1) The Lost Fleet (1) The Metal Project (226) Thundercats (1) Ticket Tales. (1) Top Ten (6) Toy soldiers (9) Truffle (1) Turkish films (2) Ultimate Metal Playlist (9) Valentine (2) Valkyrie (2) Vampires (8) videos (1) voyager (1) War Films (4) Warships (1) weird crushes (5) weird shit (8) White Pigeon (1) women in blindfolds (2) Women with Scythes (1) women with spears (5) women with swords (54) women with wings (7) women's wrestling (51) womens wrestling comics (14) womens' wrestling movies. (1) Wrestling (34) Wrestling Books (5) Wrestling Magazines (15) wrestling October 1964 (1) WTF? Japan (10) WW2 (1) Yamato (2) you do this shit deliberately don't you? (1) Zombie Films (6)