Film Review: Weedwolf (2011)

 

In the small Texas town of Normal a rampaging werewolf with a nose for the devil's lettuce is slaughtering stoners. 

That's basically it.

I bet you thought the same thing I did "Wow, somebody tried to make their own version of Cocaine Bear except with  different combination of drug + animal" 

So I was a bit surprised to find out that Weedwolf  came out in 2011 but to be fair, this whole movie is a long cavalcade of baffling. 

Let me try and quickly pigeonhole Weedwolf.  It's a Stoner-Grindhouse-Guerilla-Horror-Comedy that also throws out random boobs to add some exploitation titiliation in there. 

Seriously. The opening credits are about 50% boobs and the film-makers will literally throw a pair of bare boobs on screen  at odd moments. 

There are other strange film-making choices. To give it that vintage, lost VHS look, the director decided to film everything with a potato and then run the whole thing through the grungiest filters they could find.  This film hurt my eyes in a way that 4th generation VHS anime fansubs never managed. 

The humour is low-brow. If it's not about racism, it's about bodily functions or the sheriff's intellectually-challenged son.  In yet another strange film-making choice, some "gags" have a random, intercut reaction shot. You know, like you might get from a standup comedy show - except this is a film.  I think they were trying to be clever here. 

The special effects are...not.  A Walmart werewolf mask and some ketchup. 

The actors are...not. The entire thing is put together with random people who were available at the time.

And last but not least there's the story.

I'm not entirely convinced there was a script at any point.  Weedwolf  lurches from scene to scene without any kind of flow and the whole thing looks made up on the spot. Even by low-low-budget standards this film looks rickety.

Having said all that, Weedwolf is definitely a viewing experience. I spent the whole film wondering "What the bloody hell am I watching" so if they got nothing else right - and believe me, they didn't -  the people involved managed to make something memorable. 

If you reeeeeally like ultra-low budget oddities,  or hate your eyes, then check out Weedwolf. 

Cheapo DVD Review: Thor - The Hammer Of The Gods (2009)

A film in no way intended to cash in on the success of the other Thor movie. No way. Nu-uh.

Starring

Zachery Bryan

Alexis Peters

Mac Brandt

Daz Crawford

Melissa Osborne

Nicole Ennemoser

And anybody I haven't mentioned so far 

is played by a Russian

  Viking brothers Baldur, Thor and Ulfrich have brought their followers (and their girlfriends...) to an island on the edge of the known world, hoping to win glory.  

  Instead they find themselves facing murderous beasts who are as cunning as they are fierce. With their numbers dwindling and no way to escape, the Vikings can only hope that Thor's visions of a mighty, hammer-wielding warrior will lead them to a weapon that can stop the beasts once and for all.

  Basically this film can be summed up as "Vikings V Werewolves." which is potentially a great idea.

 I say potentially because the film-makers have neither the resources not the craft to make it work.

 Thor:THOTG is particularly badly let down by the creature FX. (Spraypainted blokes in obvious rubber masks or dodgy CGI) In a bid to disguise this, the fight choreographer has the cast mostly hacking away at something just out of shot. However, this approach is not used for the Boss Fight at the end. We get to see the Big bad in all his crap, computer generated glory and dear gods does this battle look silly.

  There are other problems. At the risk of sounding shallow, it took me a while to realise that the pudgy guy I thought was the sidekick was really the hero. Zachery Bryan just does not convince as a Viking warrior. Sorry mate.

 I suppose I'm also being harsh when I point out that while the central characters speak US English, their supporting cast have a variety of heavy European accents. It's a wee bit jarring.

 By the way,  the cast would have got thinned out a lot less quickly if they'd refrained from being dumb. (Example: Two characters manage to end up facing away from their opponent in the middle of a fight and promptly get hacked up.)

 And if you can't spot the guy who's going to go rogue within about a minute then you must be an Amish who quit the farm last week to see what this whole "Modern life" thing is all about and haven't got used to the idea of moving pictures yet. 

(Stick with it. Most films are better than this.)

 

 So, a good idea hampered by being on a shoestring budget with all that entails. 

How much did I pay for this: £5

Was it worth it: Well it's watchable I suppose but the it's the sort of thing SyFy put on at 2am to pad out the schedule. Approach with caution and low expectations.

Soulless - The Manga

   Alexia Tarabotti is resigned to being a spinster forever. She's unfashionably dark, unfashionably buxom, far too plain (allegedly), far too interested in unladylike things such as science and her tolerance for idiots is minimal.
 Then one night she is attacked by a rogue vampire and after that she finds herself involved in a nefarious plot featuring devious vampires, grumpy werewolves and mad scientists.  Luckily Alexia Tarabotti is armed with her quick wits, a sharp tongue and of course her trusty parasol.
 And Miss Tarabotti has one more trick up her well-tailored sleeve.  Born without a soul, her touch can make werewolves and vampires mortal. No wonder she makes them worried.

Been Watching: Monster Brawl (2012)

   Live from a cursed graveyard in upstate Michigan, 8 of the world's most infamous monsters -  Frankenstein (sic), Werewolf, Cyclops, Witch Bitch, The Mummy, Lady Vampire, Swamp Gut and Zombie Man - battle it out in No-Holds-Barred Death matches.

  And that's pretty much the entirety of this film. The fighters are introduced, they fight, the winner walks off while the loser starts decomposing. Or decomposes a bit faster if they happen to be undead.
 The fights themselves are essentially Pro-Wrestling as performed by the members of Lordi and mostly tend towards short matches. The final, though,  turns into a bit of an epic and is the sort of thing you'd actually expect this film to be.
  
  Hang on. Didn't Celebrity Deathmatch already do this?  Except with more humour?

 Jimmy Hart essentially plays himself as a ring announcer while Kevin Nash pops up as a rogue soldier and isn't bad at all.
 To sum up: A halfway decent after-pub film if you've ever wondered what would happen if Frankenstein's Monster got into a punchup with a Zombie.

Here's the trailer if you're interested.

 By the way, this is my 200th post! I am pleasantly surprised that I'm still doing this.

Been watching: Strippers Vs Werewolves (2012)

 When a customer at a strip club suddenly sprouts hair and pointy ears he gets a silver pen in the eyesocket, courtesy of a freaked out dancer.  When his packmates find out they are not happy and come looking for payback.

  Meanwhile the stripper and her mates  are getting seriously tooled up.